Kitchen Disaster – Olivia Angulo

Posted on January 24, 2014


Blog Post #3: Kitchen Disaster

It was my dad’s fiftieth, we planned to make his favorite dinner of rib eye steak, rosemary potatoes, steamed broccoli, and steamed artichoke with a mayonnaise and lemon zest dip. My stepmother and I had our jobs: her job was the artichoke so it was ready when my dad got home from work, and mine was to make the triple chocolate cake.

Our reputations have shown over the years that we should not be in the kitchen unsupervised…“that’s why we don’t have nice things!” (a common expression used in our household).

As my stepmother prepped the artichoke to be steamed, I stood the dining room table and mixed my cake ingredients together in the bowl with the electric mixer. Once everything had been completed, I turned on the electric mixer at a high speed. Thinking I knew how to turn off the mixer, I instead turned the speed up to it’s maximum, which they projected the mixed chocolate ingredients on the eggshell white carpet. No amount of cleaning product would save the permanently crusted, stained carpet.

During this unfortunate mishap, the second disaster occurred. My stepmother, thinking that if she could boil water on a stove AND in a microwave, used the microwave to cook the artichokes. Boy was she wrong. The artichokes ended up being the replica of SpongeBob Squarepant’s pineapple house. “I guess the artichoke is no longer on tonight’s menu” she said.

She chucked the dehydrated artichoke over the balcony and into the forest of vines below. I imagines that the stench of the appetizer made the feral cats in the neighborhood flee in horror. And then my dad walked in, “THAT’S WHY WE DON’T HAVE NICE THINGS!!!”

Long story short, always have a Chinese restaurant on speed dial.

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