I Hate Onions–Evan Falco

Posted on January 24, 2014


Last summer I almost blinded myself in the kitchen. Yes you heard me right, Blinded. The dish was french onion soup and the bain of my existence were the damn onions. The recipe called for a whole bag of onions and was quite the gauntlet for us amateur onion cutters.
There is nothing quite like the strong peppery sting that forces your eyes to water an attempt to find relief. The more you cut the more the burning and tearing. Finally you are forced to just say, FINE! I GIVE UP! We don’t need onions today. It’s as if vegetables use their scent as a defense mechanism. Unfortunately for me onions are required for French onion soup so there was no escaping. I tried everything. I chewed gum. I wore sunglasses. In my most desperate hour I put on some swimming goggles, in the hopes of tackling my Everest. My pride had been wounded, not even five minutes of cutting onions and I was forced to throw in the knife. With a tear drenched face and battered manhood I retired to the restroom in a attempt to was my eyes of this satanic sting.
After an hour and a half of the depressed pattern I was finally able to dice the whole bag. With eyes sore and red as the devil himself I was finally able to sit down and enjoy a bowl of soup. It turned out well. Was it worth possible damaging my vision permanently? ….NO.


photo link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_onion

Posted in: Student Posts